Temper

I have always known that I had a hair-trigger temper.  Fortunately my anger disappears just as quickly.  Once I have exploded and vented, I am calm again and ready to go on.   My family knows about that hair-trigger temper too.  I can get blisteringly angry in a nano-second.  Screaming angry.  Red in the face angry.  Slamming doors angry.  Throwing things angry. 

I do manage to restrain myself, for the most part, from actually damaging things, though I once threw a wallet at my husband.  Lesson to learn?  Never throw your wallet at your husband in the kitchen unless you are absolutely certain that the cards are well secured.  I was fishing items out from under the refrigerator for days.  I also once hit a pane of glass with the edge of a fist.  I was lucky I didn't severely injure myself.  I had to replace that pane of glass (the center one in a nine-pane front door) with a piece of plexi-glass.  Did you know plexi-glass melts?  Neither did I until years later when I had a major house fire and that pane of glass melted. 

However both of those incidents were more than 20 years ago.  While my husband regularly accuses me of yelling, I haven't gotten dangerously angry in a long time.  Certainly not at home, and of course that slamming doors, screaming, red in the face anger never came out at work.  I kept it in control  I wouldn't say I was the calmest person in the world, but even provoked I was never livid in the way I occasionally am at home.  I always thought I knew the reason.  I felt safe at home.  My family was going to love me and respect me no matter what I did.  My colleagues might/probably wouldn't understand.

So why then have I reached the point of rage at least twice in the past month?  It is absolutely inappropriate.  It is damaging my work reputation.  It is destructive to my relationships with my colleagues.  It is self-destructive, and needs to stop. 

Thoughts?  Valium?